Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hari Krishna Charlie Brown!! (Festival of Colors Pictures)

Why is there no "A Charlie Brown Pagwah"?  Why restrict his celebrations to Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween?  People love Charlie Brown (Not me, I am not 'people'.  To be clear, I do not like Charlie Brown, except for that dance snoopy does, which warms the cockles of my heart.), and whatever corporation owns the rights to his sad sack depressed life could totally cash in by coming out with a whole series of new holiday specials.  Here are a few samples.  If you happen to own Charlie Brown, these are freebies, feel free to use them.



(If you just want to get straight to what this post is actually about, you can skip down.  I get a little carried away here.)

A Charlie Brown Pagwah
*Lucy throws colored powder into the face of a distressed looking Charlie Brown*
Charlie Brown:  Good grief!
All: Hari Krishna Charlie Brown!

A Charlie Brown Festivus
*Lucy challenges Charlie Brown Costanza to a Festivus Feat of Strength where he must kick the football she holds out.  At the last second she pulls it away and down he falls, landing on his back with a sickening thud, legs bicycling uselessly through the air*
Charlie Brown:  Good grief!
Linus Kramer: It's a Festivus Miracle!

A Charlie Brown Mid-summers Eve
*It is mid-summer, the terrible Sun God Charlie Brown has reached the moment of his greatest strength.  Seated on his greenwood throne, his dominion as lord of the forests is absolute.  Hark!  A ghastly caravan draws near!  'Tis a coven of druidic witches making pilgrimage to the Brown God.  Heading this weirde procession is a cowled figure.  The wizened crone Lucille, who prostrates herself on the ground before the mighty Midsummer's Lord.  She presents to him the relic, a mystical oblong mass of dried swine skin, stitched on one side with a criss-crossing pattern of twine; surely some ancient rune the meaning of which we are best left unawares.

It is time.  The ritual has begun.  The wooded glade resonates with the chanted invocations of the witches as Charlie Brown's foot, the luminescent limb of a god, descends upon the leathern emblem of power.  Swiftly, and with the unerring precision of the Sun's dawn-to-dusk course, until...

With a cry of lunatic glee, Lucy, the Old Mother, shoots out her long, bony fingers and snatches the sacred Foote Ball back.  And as the Sun King begins to fall, the entire earth seems to lurch, to topple. And in the moment that the yellow orb in the heavens flashed a wrathful crimson before turning to a blackened cinder and casting the earth into an eternal night of unending darkness, the voice of Charlie Brown, the Betrayed God, rang out, reverberating and growing in magnitude as it shook through the matter of time and space.

Goode Grief.

Yeah.  Anyway, last weekend I went to the Hari Krishna's Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork, and boy howdy what a blast!  A Hindu temple, a hillside, thousands of hooting college kids (mostly) and enough colored witch dust powder to dye the Ganges bright pink.

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the Festival of Colors (or Holi, or Pagwah as it was called on my mission) is a Hindu holiday commemorating the burning of a witch in Indian mythology.  This is celebrated by throwing handfuls of colored and scented powder, which symbolizes the ashes of the dead witch, at each other.  As it turns out, this is a lot of fun.  I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

One of the many throwings held throughout the day.







Oh how innocent we were. We knew but little of color then, and powder was but a thing to be imagined. How short lived was our naive bliss.




The funny thing is, I've seen spray on tans much worse than this.




We were the sentinels. The keepers of the gate. The jerks who stood at the entrance to gank you as you came in.


Note the resemblance of Braden in this pic to Joshua from Troll 2 in the pic below.  Looks like the Goblins got Braden!

This was the most colored people I've ever seen in Utah.




The powder makes sure that every invisible hair you didn't know you have shows up.  Thus, my secret unibrow is revealed.


Rusden and the Amazing Technicolor Neck Stubble

My attempt at being artsy fartsy.


















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