Totem Poles, antique guns, and a super slide

WARNING: The following post contains very frank discussion concerning the movements of bowels (or the lack thereof).  Squeamish readers should skip ahead.

In my last post about zip-lining I mentioned the super slide at the end.  Here's a little video of me going down it.  Pro tip:  They tell you to brake.  Don't do it.  

Since I haven't been in Alaska for a week yet, every day is a day of firsts.  Today, I had my very first Alaskan bowel movement!  It took 5 days, which is pretty typical for when I move to a new location.  I don't know what it is, but I had the same problem when I went to the MTC (it took 6 days), and when I first got to Suriname (about 5 days there).  I'm not sure how normal that is but it doesn't seem to be an issue for anyone else.  Anyway, my long wait is over, and that's pretty much all I need to say about that.  If you have more questions you can ask me, and I'll tell you that's creepy.

In other news, it's very cold here in Ketchikan.  Today we went to three different totem pole parks to learn the tour logistics and all that jazz.  It was all really cool stuff, and it would have been cooler if it weren't so stonking cold.  So I guess it was too cool.  One of the best parts of the day was going into the gun museum at one of the parks.  Ab-so-lutely incredible.  I mean, guns aren't even my thing and I was awed.  For the gun aficionado it's probably something like winning the lottery  in Disneyland on Christmas.  Some of the more notable pieces were these:

• A 300 lb Gatling gun there that I was told is one of only three in existence.
• A sabre-pistol, which is just what it sounds like - a beautiful, ornate sword that happens to also be a little pistol.  They were made by the Russians in the 1700's as gifts to kings.  Not only was it useful for cowards and poor swordsmen, but you know how sometimes you stab someone and the pesky sword gets stuck in their ribcage or femur?  What a pain, right?  Well with the sabre-pistol, just fire and pull simultaneously to free a jammed sword lodged in the spine of your hapless opponent. 
• A harpoon gun.  You know, for shooting HARPOONS.  AT SEA CREATURES!!
• One of only ten 100 Caliber rifles ever made.  The shells it fires are like mini torpedoes and are enough to stop any creature known to man.  Firing this will break your shoulder in 7 places.
• One of the oldest guns ever.  A Japanese rifle circa 1514 (appx.) that is fired by lighting a 6 inch wick.  Honestly, you light a wick every time you shoot this thing.      

Anyway, things are ramping up in preparation for Sunday, which is when the first cruise ship pulls in and the season officially starts.  And there's only a million things to learn and memorize before then.  Seriously, I should be studying now.  I'm planning on cramming on my day off on Friday, but there are tours to check out and another driver invited me to go tide-pooling, and it's sale day at Safeway so we'll see how much cramming gets done.  Until then, keep it funky fresh readers!